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Friday, May 21, 2010

a journey

My life is a journey, I can’t just define myself according to my origin country or my host country. I’m a nomad (an immigrant) and I learned to adapt to any place I lived in. When one arrives in a foreign country the whole world of differences clashes agains one’s identity. Some people find the world out of their accustomed familiarity an inhospitable environment but I just feel in my element. When I came to England and saw the strange world around me I breathed in and felt that this was my thing, not necessarily comfortable and easy but it was like the fresh air in the face. The journey implies transformation of the self. I let the differences impregnate me and I make them mine. It’s the constant creation of oneself in contact with the world around and the self is a work in progress not a stable entity defined and delimited, limited by the definition.
A pilgrimage implies the idea of transformation along the way even if your motivations on the Camino are not religious. Most of the people I met did it for many other reasons. I read a sentence I used to repeat almost every day, when the emotional luggage made the walking difficult: “A pilgrim is anyone who walks with a free soul, a light baggage,
a heart full of solidarity, but above all, the pilgrims follow spontaneously the path of their dreams”.

I decided to change my life in Valdedios, a beautiful valley with few villages and a monastery with IX century church. I walked alone that day and left behind some of the people who were taking the route through Gijon. Few days before I met a woman from Poland who was going in the opposite direction and she told me about this special place so I decided to stop there and then continue to Oviedo. It is definitely a special place, silent and peaceful. It felt as if the valley kept the beauty of the life through the centuries. Maybe the monks filled it with prayers or maybe the valley inspired them to live there. It definitely inspired me. That afternoon thousands of thoughts where storming through my mind and I knew that the experiences on Camino were shaking my assumptions and my plan for life. When I arrived there were no more beds free in the albergue. Thanks to the bed rolls some pilgrims lent me I slept comfortably after a long day’s walk. The following day the sun was filtering through the morning mist and the first part of the track was all the way uphill. When I started to walk I knew I would risk the stability I had for the search and the adventure. I started climbing the hill with light heart that morning. My soul was free and I was walking on the path of my dreams.
I left behind good and bad things, I left behind people who meant a lot, but I don’t look behind anymore. I look forward and see all the uncertain possibilities in front of me. I feel completely alive and happy.
I spent 14 years in Madrid and I became an adult there but at some point I got stuck. I used to think that I just needed to find the right place and then I would be able to settle down. These days I think I was wrong. I don’t want a place to live, I want to live the World. And there is a new project on my mind ;)

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