Some time ago I set a goal for myself: to dig down there and do the laundry. So I did. Past present and future that make each individual needed a good reevaluating and reframing. The wounds that didn't heal needed attention so needed the expectations I had for the future. The present was like an untidy room, I couldn't use anymore. It's been around a year since I started laundering, I'm not done yet.
I can't even start telling what have happened during this time, a long time and a fruitful one. It turned out that I started hearing mySelf. I could explained it through different spiritual dialects, but here I have a commitment to find my own words. Getting to know oneSelf was difficult. I was my own obstacle on the way. I wanted to be this or that. I wanted to fulfill certain criteria. I wanted to achieve... Instead, I just needed to Be.
To Be is a difficult task: to be hear and now, to be who you are not who you are supposed to be. It takes time to accept the imperfection of oneself. To Be is a daily exercise. I find myself in the middle of a spinning world and I stop for a minute "hey, here I Am". I'm still the one who wants the world to be in a certain way and the things to work in an order but I stop myself to Be at least sometimes. I've discovered Compassion. I don't even fully understand what it is but IT is, an understanding: to understand and to be understanding?
Now it is turn to understand the other Selves. Those people around who do crazy things, sometimes hurtful and disrespectful. Some of them don't even know themSelves. But there they are, a part of this world, all walking universes that collide with mine more or less gracefully. The fact that we are part of the same Thing doesn't make it any easier to accept their differences and their impact on me.
Com - pa - ssion